And yet, I create

I am in a lot of pain on a daily basis due to an injury I sustained two months ago.

I have been angry for those two months. And sad. And everything in between.

I’ve fought the meds that kept a lot of pain away because they made me feel like my head was in a cloud.

Life happened too. Lots and lots of very sad moments that chained together over a couple of very intense weeks.

I now am at a point where I am sick and tired of all the emotions and most of all of not allowing myself to be me, even in pain.

These past couple of days, I’ve had pockets of creativity. I worked on my art journal, played with some apps and wrote a poem.

All the while, I still was in pain, I still felt the effects of the meds. And yet, I created.

It reminds me that my natural response to pain is to withdraw from myself. To become this creature that has forgotten how much her creativity heals her. How much she NEEDS to create in order to feel fully alive.

I can say I won’t forget this lesson ever again, but, I lie when I say that. Of course, I lie.

I have no doubt that I will forget who I am. I hope with all my heart that I will remember. That I will remember how essential creativity is to me in less than the two months it took me now.

A setback is never the end. A setback is a teacher.

I don’t know yet, what I have to learn from this pile of pain in my life, but I will be darned if I let it keep me from creating today!

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