Milk and Cookies

Dear diary,

I’ve pissed the faeries off. Forgot the milk and cookies for one night and they stole my contacts and my keys and my sim card. Bastards. I need to go to university wearing my godawful glasses that were out of fashion the moment I bought them, two years ago.

I’m going to pack all my important things and leave before they steal something else. First going to feed the hamsters.
Oh god… The hamsters.
I will be back.

Love,
Me

Dear Diary,
Sorry for writing with lipstick.
The fuckers took my pen.
And the hamsters.

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