Not so very long ago, my husband made me aware of a pattern in me that I was oblivious to. He said, “If you don’t understand me, you say sorry, and if you can’t get me to understand something, you say sorry. When are you ever going to stop that?”
It made me think a lot of about subconscious patterns that have slipped into my life and I found that it has been present so often, in other forms too. When someone failed me, I always found reasons why it was my own fault, therefore justifying their actions. When I did something stupid, I felt shame for a long time and when I looked back I saw how this shame has made me withdraw.
This is another layer of the Shadow child, the root of your ego. It has created all these un-aware responses, my Shadow words. I am becoming aware of them, and I am training myself to be fully present when I speak, only allowing words spoken with my open heart present.
How does your Shadow child come through in your speaking? How does she infect your words?